Loly Lips even let me touch her tits so I wouldn't watch porn

You got the wrong number and called an escort instead of a cook — even better

What kind of work are you going to do dressed like that? Oh, we're quarantined

Do you want coffee or my pussy? No, you can't have it all at once

Walked the girl in the park so she wouldn't break on the first date

Lolly Lips, lost your keys? Feel free to look in my pants

If you dreamt about sex, it means that soon you will definitely be fucked by someone

"Jump on my dick, and then I'll help you with your quest in The Witcher."

Didn't let me play The Witcher — took the keyboard and sat on top of it

Picked up a hottie from an unloved job and got sex in gratitude

Don't bullshit, let's get laid and burn calories!

Finally my girlfriend woke up in a good mood

Honey, I googled how to come from a massage. Why don't we give it a shot?

I don't have to cook for you, but I do give you on a schedule

Every time I pick up a T-shirt, all the issues resolve themselves

You suck at Dota — I'm going to check you suck a dick

Gave an old iPhone as a Christmas present and had to suck it up like a new one

And if I show you my boobs, will you get off these stupid streams?

Almost blew me off on the first date, but the situation was saved by sex

Friend girl is a distance learner, but misses classes because of sex

I got a guy with an awesome body to let me go to a rock concert

Slutty wife invited her neighbor into the bedroom and took hold of his dick

Blew the guy's mind on the first day of self-isolation, but at least she sucked

Called an ambulance and had a domestic coronavirus test